I am, for some reason, resisting sleep.
Like so many Tuesday nights I ended up staying late at work, then, when I got home, I ended up on the computer – a stupid move, I know.
Only three days in, though, and this 100 Days project is consuming my thoughts, or at least making me think a bit differently. I've heard it said that everyone an artist knows becomes fodder for his or her work, and I've always kind of resisted that attitude. Something about it seemed kind of opportunistic, or maybe reductionistic. When I saw the movie "Capote" a few years ago it affirmed my resistance. The way that Truman Capote interacted with the prisoner in that film was so, I don't know, not exactly cold, but he obviously was after something, right? In art the risk of alienation is very real, and it goes both ways.
I'm not trying to elevate my little project here to the level of "art," exactly, but over the last couple of days it has caused me to think about people from my past and present in terms of how to portray them in a very specific context in a perhaps similar, though less intense, way as a novelist or painter. And all I'm giving myself is one colour. I have to reduce that person down to one colour.
In considering these people that I know, family and otherwise, I am after something, right? I'm trying to complete a project. It's my hope that this project may also be a tribute to these people, but I am "using" them, in a way. I haven't asked anyone's permission. If you're reading this chances are you know me in some way, which means that YOUR name might be put up here in a few days or weeks. Would you feel used? Maybe not if you liked my portrayal of you – but what if it was a colour that you didn't like or felt lacked personality? It's funny that I've never asked these questions in the context of photography. I've taken plenty of pictures of people, and sometimes people haven't liked those pictures – or liked that I took a picture of them – but they haven't felt judged by me if the picture doesn't turn out well. By taking an image of them I haven't abstracted them to a very great degree. A goofy picture is like me writing:
Andrew spilled his beer.
That's true, and maybe slightly embarrassing in a way, but so factual that there'd be no reason to get upset about that particular sentence. It's just something that happened; I made no abstract judgement like "Andrew is clumsy." But if I took my friend Andrew, abstracted him even further and then portrayed him as his first name in medium grey he might wonder, "why grey? Does Scott think I'm just bland and innocuous?" Tricky.
What I mean to say is that to make an broad abstraction of a tree is easy, because the tree cannot respond or feel judged, but to take someone you know and care about and assign a colour to represent that person is proving (unsurprisingly) to be a difficult thing. It involves finding some meaningfulness of that person and making some very strange associations. Day #3 was my old friend Adam, who is red. Why red?
Coca Cola.
He and I shared a love of Coca Cola and much of our shared experience involved that drink. I experimented for a little while with other colours that perhaps described in some way who he was when we were friends, but red made the most sense for the simple reason that he and I both liked Coke. It was a good way to make a sort of summary of that relationship.
Doing this project is actually kind of like writing a little haiku about someone, come to think of it.
Perhaps more on that later. I've become tired.
6 comments:
Hey, go to bed!
I think part of the complication is rooted in thinking of the idea as "This color represents this person('s whole being)," or "this color is what I think of this person," etc. But the photograph or haiku analogy is really much more apt. You could do this with complete strangers, because what you know of them is an impression--a snapshot, if you will. But with people you know, you're always aware that this person is not simply this color. Therefore, while anyone may see Andrew (or a picture of him) spill a beer, no one would assume that's all there is to Andrew. Likewise, your choice for Adam was rooted in something completely personal and specific that many others likely do not share. It was not a representation of Adam's person, but a snapshot of a moment or element in his life, or of how you experienced being part of his life.
This frees you up to explain away your choices of color in any number of inoffensive and acceptable ways, but it also reduces the significance of the choice, uncovering an arbitrariness to a long-thought out, seemingly meaningful process. Therefore, the snapshot becomes true and perhaps beautiful to you, but may not resonate with others.
The difference is that a photo or haiku contains dozens of elements that can evoke different meanings to its audience. But a color has only one. The significance (and variation of elements) is in the name itself--the shapes of the letters, the number of them, what the letters convey to us, who the names remind us of, etc, etc, while the color may actually tell us more about you and your relation or experience of that person.
All that being said, I'm enjoying the project and look forward to seeing more of it. I'd also be curious to know more of your thoughts regarding this personal factor and how you see it fitting into your project. Perhaps I'm way off base or misunderstanding an element of what you're doing (I should re-read your introduction to the project now...)
I think I understand your point, Ross.
This conversation is a good justification for my initial thought to not explain who the people are or why I chose the colour. The ambiguity is a lot more interesting and evocative.
I probably didn't explain enough about my choice of red for Adam. I didn't mean to say "Here is Adam. Adam likes Coke." Nor was the choice of red for Coke a knee-jerk reaction. That he and I shared many conversations and caffeine-fueled sleepovers around a can or 2-liter bottle of Coke is very meaningful. The spend time with Adam was to drink Coca Cola. In that way the choice of red is not a "snapshot" because I arrived at the colour red after much consideration of the person. It seemed a very appropriate choice. Those who know this person would understand, and I would not expect any of these choices to resonate with anyone other than what you said:
The shapes, other evocations associated with the name, etc. (which is, of course, a big part of the project as well.)
We choose odd symbols for people in our lives, and I think that that was my point with the Coca Cola. My apprehension about the colours was that people might not get what I mean precisely because this is a very personal thing. That is part of the intent: it's autobiographical. I am, in effect, just simply telling you how I feel about these people in some way.
It's a language that I'm learning.
That makes sense. Cool. And thank you.
Sorry...that was actually me.
It was a full moon on the 18th. I NEVER sleep the two nights before a full moon.
That, and meta-cognition are killers of good rest...
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